Department of State
If you had the power to re-arrange the United States of America, what would you do? Not geographically - I’m talking about eliminating some, merging some, or adding some, but still having 50 states when all is said and done. Here’s some off-the-cuff ideas:
First, we need to get rid of all North, South, and West designations. That means, of course, that West Virginia and Virginia become one state; North and South Dakota become simply Dakota; and North and South Carolina become Carolina. OK, right there we freed up room for three more states. Next, we get rid of Alaska and Hawaii - don’t need ‘em, they don’t want us, and they’re not even attached to the contiguous states. So now we have room for 5 more states, and this is where the creativity comes in.
Everyone knows that California has two distinct zones (at least!), so we can split it into two states, roughly north and south. We can let SoCal retain the “California” name, but NorCal would need a new name, something like “San Chico” or “Sacrafrisco.” And let’s get real about New York: the city of New York deserves to be its very own state, separate and distinct from Upstate. Let’s keep New York City as a state, and rename the rest of New York something like, “Albuffany” or “Buffutica.” Now we have room for one more state to get us back to 50…how about if we let the Upper Peninsula folks from Michigan have their state? Or maybe we can lop off the panhandle of Idaho as an independent state, or perhaps carve another state out of California - the interior section, separate from the coastal regions.
So that’s one way to approach it. Of course, if you wanted to include parts of Canada in the discussion (Cascadia, Pacifica), things might get a bit more complicated. Any other suggestions for new states?
February 22nd, 2007 at 6:05 am
Why not carve up Texas? There is more than enough to divide up.
February 22nd, 2007 at 11:00 am
I think you’re going about this all wrong. Dividing states up by geography is so 18th-century. Try dividing up the country by states of mind! That’s right, you could live in the State of Denial, while your neighor lives in the State of Bliss. Each state could have its own governemnt, facilities, tax rate, etc. Think how smoothly everything would run!
February 22nd, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Have you heard of the Nine Nations of North America?
February 23rd, 2007 at 12:12 am
Can we PLEASE get rid of Georgia?
And if we have to keep it, let’s just transfer everything north of Orlando (except for Gainesville) to Georgia and Alabama where it belongs? And every few years, the Conch Republic (or Key West, as us furriners refer to it) declares its independence.
Alaska and Hawaii don’t want us? The sites you link to do not appear to represent a majority, or necessarily even a notable minority. And we don’t need ‘em? Here’s a question: How important was Hawaii to the US in World War II? And even more so, how would the Cold War have been different if we had never bought Alaska from the Russians?
Statehood for NYC is a definite winner — everyone will be happy with it, although you might have a fight over the name. You might be stuck with North New York and South New York. Also, who gets the eastern part of Long Island?
What do you want to do with the Oklahoma panhandle? That one is just weird. Similarly the West Virginia panhandle should be absorbed into either Pennsylvania or Ohio.
By law, Texas can divide itself into as many of five states if it chooses, which would give it eight more senators and possibly four more members in the House, depending on how the borders are drawn. The possible hitch is that Texans like being a big state, and if you ditch Alaska, they will relish having their status as the biggest state back.
The other non-hypothetical possibility here is Puerto Rico. Even among the people who live there, opinion is almost evenly divided among those who want statehood, those who want independence, and those who want to leave things as they are.
February 24th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Was going to suggest Joel Garreau’s Nine Nations but someone beat me to it.
Still: my in-laws would truly appreciate being separated from the bustle of NYC. So my candidate, no tongue in cheek, is to make NYC its own state—Gotham, if you will—and allow the rest to retain the name New York.
After all of your North-South consolidations, New York could be further divided into Adirondack, Leatherstocking, and Niagara to bring your total back to 50. Adirondack is all of the North Country as far west as about Utica, it’s Leatherstocking from there west to the Finger Lakes, and Niagara frontier the rest of the way to Lake Erie.
February 24th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
How bout we get rid of New Jersey? Any former East Coaster will second this one. Heck, it’s the only state in the union I know of that you have to pay to leave but not enter!