Better Living Thru Blogging!

Archive for the ‘laugh’ Category

First, read this:

Don’t get me wrong—I like squirming, drooling, and sporadically attempting to focus on colors and shapes as much as the next guy. But of all the various activities one can choose to pursue in life, crying is tops as far as I’m concerned. In my opinion, I find nothing is more fulfilling than a good steady holler. It takes no experience to begin, and within moments, all one’s needs are instantly met!

Now, tell me this: doesn’t it sound remarkably like it applies to far-left progressive Demo weenies? Actually, it was written from the point of view of a baby. But is there a difference?

Just want everyone to know that I don’t REALLY hate Red Hatters. My entry below was intended to be semi-humourous, just poking gentle fun. No offense meant.

I’d seen snippets of “Shaun Of The Dead” on cable, and the bits I saw were pretty entertaining. So when I had the opportunity to watch “Hot Fuzz” yesterday, I was optimistic.

My optimism was well-placed. This is a funny movie, and full of twists and even some pretty gruesome (albeit brief) bits. This could easily spawn a sequel or three, as Angel and Butterman get sent to other locations to solve crimes and fight bad guys.

The editor of “Hot Fuzz” should get some sort of special award, by the way.

Finally! Someone has the courage to speak out against the abomination that are “Crocs!” But Miss Fancy Rants does point out that there is one - only one - redeeming quality about these monstrosities:

There is one positive thing about Crocs, and only one. You know those people who are out there sporting Crocs would be wearing flip flops or open toe sandals if they didn’t have those hideous Crocs on. There is nothing I hate more then having to see feet exposed in ugly footwear.

Amen, sister. She also links to an I Hate Crocs blog, which features a link to - yes! - an I Hate Crocs tee-shirt store!

If you’re bored with lolcats and tired of I Can Has Cheezburger, then perhaps you will enjoy FAIL. Scores of FAIL photos, most of them humorous to some degree, although I don’t know how many of them are genuine (not shopped or edited). My favorite is Procreation Fail:

A close runner-up is this inappropriate Donald Duck ride, and there is another Procreation Fail pic, too. I just love intarwebs memes!

I heard this many, many years ago, and have attempted to recreate it here for your reading enjoyment.

Once there was a peaceful village called Trid that was nestled in a beautiful valley deep in the mountains. The people were happy and tranquil, and harmony reigned. Once every month, a team of hardy villagers would take a huge wagon over mountains and into the town to stock up on food, medicine, and other supplies, and then laboriously haul the full wagon back to Trid.

One day, as the monthly trek was headed back to Trid hauling their wagon full of supplies, the group of villagers came upon a huge giant at the top of the mountain. As they approached the giant, he unceremoniously kicked each one of them and they tumbled thousands of feet to the bottom of the mountain into the town square. The supply wagon was demolished.

So the villagers re-stocked their wagon and armed themselves with large sticks, determined to not let the giant stand in their way. When they arrived at the top of the mountain they saw the giant and approached him, waving their sticks. The giant promptly kicked every one of them back down the mountain into the town square.

The villagers of Trid began to worry. It had been several days since their expedition had departed, and they were running low on food and medicine.

Meanwhile, the Trid villagers on the other side of the mountain came up with another plan. If the giant could not be overcome with strength, then perhaps he could be reasoned with. They restocked the wagon and began hauling it back up the mountain, determined to get home to Trid. At the top of the mountain, the giant appeared and began storming towards them. The smartest of the villagers cried out, “Giant! We come in peace – surely we can reason with you!” Without ceremony, the giant kicked all of the villagers right back down the mountain into the town square.

By now the situation was getting desperate in Trid. Food and medicine were becoming scarce. Adults began to ration out meals to the smallest and weakest of the villagers.

Meanwhile, back in town, the Trid expedition came up with a new plan: if they could not reason with or fight against the giant, then perhaps it was time to appeal to a higher power. Unfortunately, the town pastor was too old and sick to make the journey, so they instead turned to the town rabbi. “Oh rabbi, please lead our expedition back to our village of Trid! Surely the giant will not harm us if we are in the company of a holy man!” The rabbi agreed, and so the expedition began the journey once again up the mountain.

At the top of the mountain, the giant met them. One by one, he began kicking the Trids back down the mountain until only the rabbi stood before him. The giant appeared to lose interest, turned around, and began to walk away.

The rabbi shouted, “Wait! You cruel giant, why have you kicked the Trid villagers down the mountain? And why do you not kick me? Why, giant, why?”