Cool - I found some of my very old archives from 2001 stored on my computer; most of them seem to have disappeared when I switched from Blogger to MT back in 2002. I’ll repost some of them occasionally, starting with this one!

Sunday, October 14, 2001
“Surviving Gilligan’s Island” aired on CBS and I was quite surprised. This was not a standard “behind the scenes” or docu-drama re-telling of the making of a pop show. It was hosted by the three remaining cast members (Bob Denver, Russell Johnson, and Dawn Wells), as themselves, and flashed back to interesting slices of the show’s history, from Sherwood Shwartz’s concept to filming to series end to TV-movies (3 of ‘em!). The flashbacks were handled by using actors who looked somewhat like the stars they were portraying, but more convincingly *sounded* like them. The three hosts filmed their portions on a set (original?) that looked very much like the Island itself, and Mary Ann baked some coconut-cream pie for the guys, and they pretended to be using some of the same contraptions that they used on the series, such as a bamboo-style movie projector. The movie accurately pointed out the many, many references still in vogue in American and even international pop culture to “Gilligan’s Island,” such as the Jeopardy game show with categories named after characters, remote Pacific islands where even the natives can identify “Mary Ann,” and such.

My friend and I were discussing Bad TV Shows a while back, and kept trying to “one-up” each other…which, in this context, means naming a *worse* show than the other guy just mentioned. Here’s a sampling:

She’s The Sheriff: “Widowed mom Hildy Granger takes over as the Sheriff of Lakes County, Nevada after her husband dies.” Famous for starring Suzanne Somers, in between her Glory Years on “Three’s Company” and resurgence as a Vegas star/Larry King regular. I never saw this show, but have fuzzy memories of Somers wearing the sheriff uniform in commercials.

Manimal: “Jonathan Chase is a British college professor…who has the unusual ability to transform into any kind of animal he wants.” Yeah, I’d call that “unusual.” Lasted all of eight episodes. Never saw it.

Charles In Charge: “Charles, a college student, moves in with (a) family as the housekeeper, baby-sitter, and friend to the children.” Famous for starring a guy who used to be a Chachi, as well as a guy who traded seven siblings for the job of Bibleman. Never watched a single episode.

Carter Country: “This sitcom was set in the small Georgia town of Clinton Corners. The lovable redneck chief of police…was ably assisted by his ultra-intelligent black deputy…who had been trained in New York City.” Trying to capitalize on President Carter’s accent and hometown - how could this show possibly have failed? I seem to recall watching bits-n-pieces of this show.

Man From Atlantis: “…last survivor of the lost continent…he has piercing green eyes, gills instead of lungs and webbed hands and feet…he can swim faster than a dolphin and has superhuman strength and senses.” I vaguely recall watching a few episodes, and even then I realized that this show belonged firmly in the Irwin Allen camp. Notable for featuring a pre-”Dallas” Patrick Duffy, who, IIRC, cautioned youngsters after each show to not attempt to swim the way his character does.

So what Bad TV Shows do you remember - and why?

I read the Air Force News page every day, and noticed that a young Air Force C-17 pilot named Lyndsey Goodman auditioned for the TV show “American Idol” recently. That’s cool - as much as I dislike the show, it’s always good to see the Air Force get some good press.

But would you believe that some people interpret Goodman’s failure to impress the judges as evidence of political bias on the part of the Idol judges and/or producers? I call *bull* on that. Look, I understand the left-wing bias of most mainstream media, but I don’t think that this is a case of that. The Idol judges eliminate the vast majority of applicants, and I honestly don’t think that politics plays any part in their decision. And after watching the Youtube clip of Goodman’s performance, it’s pretty clear that the judges did like her - they complimented her and noted that she does sing well, but not in a suitably “pop” way. And seriously - if they thought that Goodman had a chance of becoming a pop star, they would have whisked her to Hollywood in a heartbeat. A pop-culture mega-hit such as Idol transcends politics and ideology, and doesn’t have to worry about political leanings - it concerns itself solely with the bottom line and massive exposure.

If Goodman wasn’t bankable based on her overall “pop” appeal, then that’s it: game over. I don’t think her affiliation with the Air Force - and, by implication, support for President Bush and the military policies of the administration - factored into the judges’ decision at all.

And my two cents: Goodman is a TRUE American Idol. I salute her service.

Here’s an idea for a new TV network - if you’ve got the money to launch it, please - PLEASE - run with it. It will be called MPTV, which stands for “Missing Persons TV.” It will feature round-the-clock coverage of every missing person that captures the nation’s collective attention. A few months ago, the plot would have revolved around Stacy Peterson; two weeks ago, it would have featured the “missing pregnant Marine” (a media-coined phrase that made me sick). This week, it will cover the latest and/or most attractive young lady that has been reported missing.
Believe me - I am not mocking or otherwise picking on the missing people or their families - it’s the cable-news networks that I’m attacking. I’m sick of the non-stop coverage of the missing-person-of-the-week on Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC, when the fact is that these stories are almost invariably quite local in nature. The wall-to-wall coverage of every facet of these news stories just amazes me.
UPDATE: just in case the point wasn’t clear — the purpose of “MPTV” would be to remove all missing-persons coverage from the cable-news channels (not replicate it)!

Bad news from our collective pop-culture memory: Sam The Butcher and Emily Hartley have passed away. To be precise, Allan Melvin and Suzanne Pleshette have passed away. Allan spent decades in TV, not only acting but also many voice-overs, and of course is best known as “Sam The Butcher” on “The Brady Bunch.” Please, no jokes about delivering meat to Alice! And Pleshette - whose role as Bob’s wife on “The Bob Newhart Show” gave hope to millions of average-looking guys with unsure voices - also spent decades in front of the camera. RIP, Allan and Suzanne.

Watched “Grizzly Man” on the Discovery Channel a few weeks ago. I remember, vaguely, hearing about the so-called “Bear Whisperer” several years ago when the man who loves bears and lived among them for over a decade was killed and eaten by one of the bears. Until watching the Discovery Channel show, however, I had no idea how mentally unbalanced this man was.
His name was Timothy Treadwell, and in the videos of himself that he recorded in Alaska - among the bears and foxes - it is pretty obvious that he was suffering from mental illness of some sort. Megalomania, some paranoia (especially in later years), and arguably some repressed issues about sexuality. He honestly believed that he was the lone protector of Alaska’s bears, for some reason, and was convinced that the entire human population was “against” him. He slipped from caring about bears to believing that they were superior to humans, and if given the choice, I suspect that he would have gladly exterminated the human race - himself included - in order to turn the planet into one giant bear haven.
On a more positive note, however, he did take some amazing pictures.

HOORAY! Check it out: The Green Hornet is being aired on TV again! I noticed a few weeks ago that the American Life TV Network (aka “ALN”) has begun targeting Boomers, and is now showing 60s classics such as “Lost In Space” and “Mission Impossible” and “The Time Tunnel,” and then saw today that - yes! - they are airing The Green Hornet on Fridays!  It’s on channel 123 on Bresnan.

Thank you, ALN network!